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It's hard to ever pay out affection if it wasn't paid in. -Men in particular often have a "hunter's mentality" about certain things in life. Once you've accomplished a certain thing, then you can scratch it off your list and not worry about it too much anymore. So you bagged an x -point buck and a mountain lion; good; no need to hunt so much now. So you got the big promotion; good; no need work so hard now. So you married a good wife; good; no need to charm so much now. So you made a kid or two; good; no need to screw so much now. It's definitely a take-it-for-granted or been-there-d xxx that mentality, and it's too common. Women don't seem to display this tendency as much as men but they do have it to some degree at times too. -The greater need for contact or sexual intimacy can be due to actual brain wiring. You're surely aware that some people have ludicrously high sex drives while others have normal ones and others have low drives. Sex or intimacy drives, as well as personal space, and amount of verbalization, are all a product of both upbringing and biology (i.e., brain wiring). They also change at times in life with hormonal changes, stress, and so on. So a mismatch in desire for intimacy between xxx people can be based in their biology as well as their social background. There are surely other elements that factor in (stress is a biggie) but those are the major ones that come to my mind right now. Of course once you've outlined all that, and maybe more, you come to the next question which is: What to do about it? Do you talk to the man? Get counseling? Talk with friends/family? Do a trial separation? Have an affair? Throw a fit? Have a breakdown? Wish there were easy, just-add-water-and-stir answers, but there aren't. 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